Chaz: WHY DO CHICKS OVER HERE FUCKING LOVE HSM?*
Me: because... uh...
Me: i have no answer to this.
Chaz: why is my country your country's bitch?
Me: because we beat you in the revolution and then saved your ass in two world wars?
Chaz: I'm going to close this conversation box
Chaz: then re open it
Chaz: so I don't explode
Me: ok.
Chaz: hello
Chaz: how're you today?
Me: hi, chaz!
Me: oh, man, a little stressed out.
Me: do you know how much lucozade costs over here?
Me: if only i lived in your fair country, where lucozade practically grows on trees.
Chaz: :')
Chaz: and irn bru

*for those who don't know, HSM is high school musical

[edit] NOW WITH MORE COMMENTARY!

David: Also the ENGLISH love HSM?
David: ...Wait of course they do
David: they have more shitty pop per capita than any nation on earth
Me: well, if we're excluding pop that is both shitty AND weird.
Me: then yes.
David: Yeah Japan doesn't count
David: I mean when your pop music has tentacle rape it isn't shitty it's a window into some fantastic alternate dimension of weird crap.
David: But seriously the last time I was in England we were on "Now Vol. 7" to their "Now Vol. 49"
David: they had SQUARED our amount of shitty pop.

i'll be 28 in 36 minutes.

fuck yes.

tonight, the political is personal. nothing in the world matters but how we've transcended over 200 years of oppression to finally be the nation we set out to be on july 4th, 1776.

yes, we can. and yes, we did.

and yes, we will.

for those who aren't on my facebook, i felt the need to share this with you guys... my mom voted early, yesterday, in a state where her school wasn't legally integrated until she was a senior in high school.

Dear Suzan,
Today I, the great-great granddaughter of slave owners, voted for an African-American for President of the United States. When I saw his name on the voting machine, it hit me in a way I did not expect. I felt the weight of history and had to blink back tears until I got outside. No matter what the outcome, we have advanced as a people and a civilization in my lifetime and I feel privileged to have been a witness and a participant in all this.
Love,
Mom

someone forwarded this to my mom who forwarded it to me. oh how sweet it would be...


Hi Friends,
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.
Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.
Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman
and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.
Of course, it would NOT be tax free.
So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.
Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.
A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads.
Put away money for college - it'll be there.
Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car - create jobs.
Invest in the market - capital drives growth.
Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves.
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else.

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company
that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out
a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed
by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.


Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.
Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."
But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?
I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion.
We Deserve It Dividend more than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC .

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion

because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

Birk

T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your friends as it's either good for a laugh
or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

take a picture of yourself right now.
don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
post that picture with NO editing.
post these instructions with your picture.

me: if fucking hillary supporters vote for a woman just because she has a vagina, i am going to move to montreal.
me: *not actually move to montreal
russ: if hillary fucks
russ: vote mccain because he picked a vag
russ: i am going to join of montreal

wow, i've done it again, haven't i? gone a whole month or so without posting.

things are pretty crazy. the tank lost its space (though i think i mentioned this in my last post? maybe?) and we are currently at DCTV just hanging out and throwing shows while my job is to try to secure a new space. manhattan real estate is even worse on the commercial side than the residential side, if that can be believed. i think we should just rent a giant apartment for $6000 and throw parties out of it, but we'd probably get evicted. i love my job, though. it's really amazing to do things like look for space and book artists and talk to curators and what not, but the bureaucracy of how we hae to handle everything in our temporary space is driving me a bit batty.

brandy (my roommate) recently broke up with her boyfriend of four and a half years, so it's been hardcore roommate bonding time between she, andrew, and me this weekend. i skipped ed rush and optical on friday to play scrabble and listen to vinyl with them. last night, we sat around talking about ghosts and demons and aliens and then we watched alien because brandy had never seen it. i IM'ed with this boy i have a crush on who lives in philadelphia and then fell asleep most of the way through it on the couch next to brandy and pity (the dog).
tonight, we're having a cook out, just the three of us, and watching a double feature of black and white political satires (manchurian candidate and dr. strangelove). i haven't been drinking because of my stomach and it seems to be helping-- i can eat tomatoes and spicy-ish things without wanting to die.

choyce and i are going to go to brunch and then take a bike ride into red hook to go to fairway and ikea.

last weekend was pulsewave, and i finally introduced myself to josh's new girlfriend. i feel like i should probably say more about that, but i honestly didn't even care to document it here.

i really need to start updating this thing more regularly so it's not just a series of names of people most of you don't know and the glossed over mundanities of my life, but i am so busy doing the fun things that i forget to update.

dear spears sisters,

i know this might seem difficult, so i found a link so next time you can know how to do this.

how to put on a condom.

please stop populating.

xx
suzan

EDIT: THIS IS TOMORROW, WEDNESDAY, MAY 16th

lucy's gone on thursday morning. and it's not going to be one of those bethany situations where she leaves to be with some douchetruck in michigan she barely knows and whom we all loathe. she's going to live in atlanta with russ, who is awesome.

what i mean is... she's not coming back in six months. she's GONE.

SO...

you WILL come into the city to high chai (18 avenue b at 2nd street) and drink fancy infused vodka with us.

now, before you go gettin' all "waaaaaaaaaah, i live in brooklyn, i'm poor" i'm going to lay down the law. lucy is LEAVING. GONE. you live in brooklyn, so your rent can't be that much, anyway, with all you brag about living in the middle of the atlantic ocean for nothing.

and besides, you can get 8 oz of fancy infused vodka for 24 bucks. EIGHT OUNCES. split it with friends. drink it all yourself. in any case, there's no reason to drink more than $30 worth of booze here unless you want to end up in the hospital. and besides...

LUCY IS LEAVING. GET IT?

and for those who are beer drinkers, they have $5 tsingtao.

so... the skinny:

6:00 till we throw up.
high chai
18 ave. b
F train to 2nd ave (get off at the first ave exit) or JMZ to essex and delancey-- your choice.

see you there.

if anyone wants to help me move on tuesday, i will be very grateful and repay you with food and/or booze.

felipe's sprained his shoulder/collarbone so while he can drive, it's probably not best for him to haul a bunch of crap up and down a flight of stairs.

i know i owe daniele and rob already, so no volunteering! (unless you plan on moving twice and pretty soon.)

pelosi taking phone poll on impeachment

click here for details.

i called and did it.

it took a few times to get through, but i did. :)

since i'm stressed to shit and feel like i'll never finish my thesis presentation, i thought a good use of my time would be making thesis macros.





ok, back to thesis.

five days? no. four.


[EDIT]

( made more: )

To end once and for all the question of whether or not there are hired gun bloggers selling you on stuff they really don't care about (and most likely can't afford), here's an email that popped up in my inbox today.

Given that there are no legal restrictions detailed in the wording of this email to forbid me from posting this, I'd like to point out that I am entirely within my terms of service, here.


And in case Portero or their representative Ms. Evans thinks that this is damaging, I can assure you that the more people who see this, the more applications you'll get and the more name recognition your site will get... And you didn't even have to pay anyone. You're welcome.

Here's the email:



I spoke with you earlier today about enlisting the help of students who are interested in part-time work (paid) for a few hours a week, to help with our external blog program on behalf of Portero.com. Below is an overview for the position. We would be grateful if you could circulate it internally. Let me know if you require more information. The position is required as soon as possible.

Thank you in advance for your help, which is much appreciated.

Kind regards,

Natalie Evans
Director of Ecommerce Marketing

e: nevans@portero.com
o: 212.661.1449 x710
w: www.portero.com


JOB INFORMATION:

Type of listing:
Part time (few hours a week)

Organization:
Portero.Inc
275 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10016
www.portero.com

Contact details:
Natalie Evans
Director for Ecommerce Marketing
nevans@portero.com

Position:
Online Guerilla Marketing for Luxury Goods Co.

Job Posting:
Dream job opportunity for a web-savvy, trend aware student to work part-time for a growing online auction company. Help Portero.com to gain presence and recognition online to increase traffic to their website and ultimately drive sales. Be part of our dynamic and exciting team whose mission is to be the premiere online auction marketplace for luxury pre-owned merchandise, setting the standards for safe online trading in a secure luxury shopping environment. We currently feature jewelry, watches, collectibles and art from prestige brands and artists and all the items we sell are guaranteed authentic.

As part of our blog program, we are looking for an inspired, entrepreneurial individual with a good knowledge of online communities, forums, blogs etc. You must have some understanding of the luxury goods world. Earn extra money working a few hours a week.

If you are interested, please send an email to Natalie Evans at nevans@portero.com. If you have a blog, submit the URL with your email. We will be setting up appointments to discuss requirements in more detail with appropriate compensation. We are looking for someone to start immediately.


If you would like to link to this blog entry, please feel free. Here is the URL: http://ivydevice.livejournal.com/932879.html

dear soho lofters (and you know who you are),

it's been awhile. ok, ok, it's been ten years. TEN YEARS since 1997 when they took away our beloved chat (or was it 1998? i lost track of time chatting with all of you).

in any case...

i'm looking for you. i want to know how you are, where you've been, what you've been doing. i want to know everything. i want to know, once and for all, what gender e magill was.

email me at suzan (dot) eraslan (at) gmail (dot) com.

with all of my 16 year old love,

Fairyvixen or faerie...

PS i'm serious... i even emailed aisling.

PPS please feel free to forward this to all of the old chatters. anyone.

lucy: (something something) face sweater.

me: i wish i had a face sweater... i should totally make one.

lucy: i think that's what a beard is.

so, on the rss feed for astronomy picture a day, they had this image, labelled pluto in true color:



knoxvillians will realize that this means we must rename the sunsphere, as it doesn't look at all like the sun:



but apparently looks exactly like pluto.

despite all their claims of small farm support and social responsibility, ben and jerry's uses eggs from battery caged chickens.

[EDIT]

they've actually promised to switch to cage-free eggs! hooray for the power of internet people getting angry and spreading links. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROB! :)

ok, off to read some brecht.